There was no comment from Jamie Lynn, except to say that she is committed to doing the right thing for the child. “I am 100 percent committed to being the best parent that I can be,” she said. “If that means raising my child by myself at 17, then I will do that. If that means that my boyfriend and I should get married three years shy of 20, then maybe we should do that. And if it means that I have to give the baby to my big sister, where it can have its life put at risk on a nearly daily basis, then that’s fine too. Like I said, whatever works.”

The ultimate plan is likely to have Britney raise Jamie’s baby for about the first six months, and then have custody forcibly granted to Kevin Federline, who has demonstrated far superior ability to parent than anyone in the Spears family.

Britney Spears, however, was insistent that she’s the solution for right now. “In my family, you stick together, and if you have a kid too young, then you give it to someone else in the family who can take better care of it than you can,” she said. “It’s about family unity and cohesiveness. That’s how I was brought up. I can’t speak for Jamie Lynn; I don’t really know how she was brought up. But I do know that those are my values, and nothing that anyone can say is going to change them. Let’s go to Petco.”

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Madonna, at age 50, is ferociously intent upon proving that she is not slouching gently into middle age. Lately we are often confronted with her wiry body performing feats that would have women half her age in traction.

The hair is blonde, the face line-free, and in her most recent video with young Justin Timberlake she struts around saucily in dominatrix boots and a funny flesh-coloured body suit.

 Last week, still striving to shock, Madonna grabbed one of her female dancers for a passionate kiss, echoing her on-stage snog with Britney Spears some years back. No one raises an eyebrow at faux-lesbian kisses any more: indeed, some of the racier ladies in the Women’s Institute will no doubt be doing them soon to raise money for charity.

But it got me thinking about the etiquette of such matters. I’m sure the clinch with Britney had to be cleared in advance with Britney and her “people,” but I suspect - from the dreadfully awkward angle of her head - that the poor little dancer was taken unawares

Madonna thinks she knows what led to the downfall of Britney Spears.

“It’s a little bit awkward,” she said. “You don’t really know them and you feel a little bit nervous and intimidated.”

Britney Spears‘ aunt has said the singer is definitely on back on track these days and her family are delighted at the progress.

Under dad Jamie Spears’ supervision over the past three months, Britney is said to have gone from strength to strength after accepting medical help following a brief hospitalisation at the start of February.

Her aunt Chanda McGovern said before the conservatorship was put in place at the start of February: “We didn’t know if she’d make it through the next day and we’re all very proud of her now.

“This time last year everyone was in turmoil.

“I hope she’ll never walk down that path again and I think she’s got a bright future.”

She added that she believes a lot of Britney’s problems stem from the fact she’s “very headstrong and doesn’t like being told what to do” but now is a lot more willing to accept help.

Britney’s second cameo on How I Met Your Mother is scheduled to air in the US this week.

As any “Weeds” fans knows, the inclusion of Mary-Kate Olsen as uber-Christian yet morally grey Tara Lindman last season was blatant stunt casting. She was not believable, good or capable of holding her own against the show’s other hyphenate, the brilliant Mary-Louise Parker. I’m still having nightmares about the scene when she dry-humped Silas on the playground.

But that hasn’t stopped Showtime from throwing MK’s oversized hat into the ring as a potential Best Guest Actress nominee for this year’s Emmy Awards. Now just because someone is submitted doesn’t mean they’ll bag a nom, there are still many hurdles to cross, like the voting pool actually viewing Mary-Kate’s work.

But should the TV Academy have an aneurysm and toss a nod her way, there might be a few more surprises headed our way. Britney Spears will also be eligible for the category following her work on “How I Met Your Mother” as will Lindsay Lohan for her upcoming stint on “Ugly Betty.”

This will be the first time the three would be competing since they all vied for the last bed at Betty Ford.