Aiming for the summer blockbuster status it will surely achieve, the fourth Indiana Jones movie piles the action on.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” hangs nearly non-stop chase and fight scenes from the most skeletal of plots. A rollercoaster doesn’t have a plot either and that’s essentially what the fourth Indiana Jones film is.

Rather than mess with success, director Steven Spielberg and co-writer, co-executive producer George Lucas follow their Indiana Jones blueprints precisely. For instance, “Crystal Skull” replaces the Holy Grail-hunting Nazis of 1989’s “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” with America’s Cold War foes, the Soviet Communists.

The year is 1957 and the Russians, led by imperious KGB agent Irina Spalko, tenaciously track Jones and his new, young sidekick, Mutt Williams. As the sword-wielding Spalko, Cate Blanchett lords it over men under her command and her captives, which, at one time or another, include Jones and Williams.

Harrison Ford, looking older yet fit and ready for more adventure, returns as Jones. In the acting department, Ford doesn’t do anything fancy. His character is all about getting the job done. There’s no emoting and only the briefest acknowledgement of the dearly departed. Which is to be expected. The movie’s incessant action doesn’t leave much time for acting.

Shia LeBeouf, like some teen idol riding shotgun with John Wayne in a vintage western, joins the 65-year-old Ford in “Crystal Skull” for riddle solving, tomb raiding and epic chases. LeBeouf, resembling Marlon Brando in the 1953 motorcycle gang drama, “The Wild One,” makes his entrance on two wheels. He provides weak comic relief, an excuse to fill the soundtrack with ’50s rock ’n’ roll and a link to Jones’ past that will come as no surprise anyone.

Blanchett, Oscar-nominated actress though she is, doesn’t make her KGB agent more than a cartoon character. But there’s no need to be flexing blue-chip thespian skills. The actress’ great cheek bones and cool, cruel eyes will suffice. Again, “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” ain’t Shakespeare.

The same applies to Oscar-nominated actor John Hurt’s co-starring role as Professor Oxley. A friend of Jones, Oxley has gotten himself into historic trouble in Peru thanks to his quest for the legendary Crystal Skull of Akator.

It’s easy to accuse “Crystal Skull” principals Spielberg and Lucas of a lack of imagination. Despite a change of accents, the movie’s villains are an encore of earlier bad guys. Among the action scenes, for example, there’s nothing new about helpless characters plunging over waterfalls. And despite a relocation to the Peruvian jungle, the collapsing ruins there are old hat, too.

But this new Indiana Jones episode, filmed from a story by Lucas and Jeff Nathanson and screenplay by David Koepp, compensates for lack of imagination through bigger, louder, even more lavish execution. The filmmakers give the series’ followers exactly what they’d given them before, but this time the same old Indiana

Dancing with the Stars castoff Shannon Elizabeth probably left about one week too soon but she made the most of her time on the show, snagging a red-hot romance with hunky professional dancer Derek Hough and raising her profile again just a bit. That has landed her a sexy cover on Maxim magazine

Nineties heartthrob Sandra Bullock has narrowly escaped death after her car was hit by a drug-crazed female driver.

The drug in question is the one which is responsible for more deaths each year than cocaine, heroin and crack combined.

It is the one which is smelt on the breath of 40% of reported violent criminals, 78% of assaulters and 88% of criminal damagers.

Worst of all, it is the drug most responsible for the current record-breaking human-population on earth.

It’s alcohol - obviously.

Sandra Bullock and her husband, Jesse James (a celebrity in his own right but, as you’ll no doubt understand, not quite worthy of a mention in the headline), being driven by 55-year-old Mark Hussey (not a chance) were hit by a drunk driver in Gloucester, Mass., on Friday evening.

According to People, the driver of the offending vehicle has been identified by local cops as Lucille P. Gatchell, a 64 year old from Gloucester.

Police said Lucille’s gray Subaru station wagon jumped lanes on East Main Street and crashed into the front end of their private car but, staying true to the celebrity-car-crash form-guide, not a sausage was injured.

Luckily Hussey had been driving at just 20 mph at the time. And we all know what would have happened if they’d been traveling at double that speed!

(Now, at this point, we have the choice of two comedy avenues to skip down; the first being a reference to that girl in the ‘if you hit me at 40 mph I’ll get mangled by a tree, but if you hit me at 30mph I’ll just piss myself a little’ adverts. And second, of course, is the ‘it would trigger a bomb that Dennis Hopper will explode if you go under a certain speed’ avenue)

(Both have their merits, but have been done and redone over the last 24 hours by publications less reputable than this, and we can’t be seen – at least – to be delving to their level, so rather than wasting your time we’ll just leave you with the following dilemma, before hurriedly moving on: If you were driving the Speed bus and that girl from the advert walked in the road, would you leave her wetting herself, or holding up that tree? It may happen one day)

The real star of this whole shebang, however, is, without a shadow of a doubt, Gloucester Police Lt. Gerry Cook, who commented:

It’s unfortunate, but it shows you that no one is immune from drunk drivers, no matter how famous you are.

Now that man does deserve a mention in the headline! Finally someone is brave enough to stand up to the brainwashed masses who believe celebrities harbour special powers making it impossible for drunk drivers to collide with them.

You idiots! Wake up and smell the reality!

Lt. Cook continued:

They were shaken up, needless to say, But they were fine – he was hugging her. Jess and Sandra were hugging. They said they were fine, they didn’t need medical attention. There were quite a few people snapping pictures of them…”

Lucille P. Gatchell was given a field sobriety test by officers. She blew a .20 on the breathalyzer (two and a half times the legal limit). She was arrested and booked for driving under the influence of alcohol and failure to stay in marked lanes.

She was later released on her own recognizance (recognizance: n. an obligation of record that is entered into before a court or magistrate, containing a condition to perform a particular act, such as making a court appearance) and shall be arraigned (arraigned: tr.v. to call (an accused person) before a court to answer the charge made against him or her by indictment, information, or complaint) on the charges this (this: pron. used to refer to the person or thing present, nearby, or just mentioned) coming Tuesday.

Leatherheads.’ Screwball comedy about a reporter torn between two football players in 1925. With George Clooney, Renee Zellweger, John Krasinski. Director: George Clooney (1:44). PG-13: Language, violence. At area theaters.

In recent years, George Clooney has become the Ultimate Movie Star, a guy who can do virtually no wrong. Given the acclaim he has earned as a filmmaker alone - for “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind” and “Good Night, and Good Luck” - it’s something of a surprise that he fumbles his latest attempt behind the camera.

Apparently, even icons have their limits. And with “Leatherheads,” Clooney may simply have stretched himself too thin, by serving as both director and his own leading man.

Here he plays aging jock Dodge Connolly, a 1920s football player watching his ragtag league buckle under flagging interest. Threatened further by rules designed to end the sport’s anarchic spirit, a desperate Dodge hires Carter (The Bullet) Rutherford (ever-likable John Krasinski). A war hero admired by men and adored by women, Carter perfectly represents the new face of professional football.

Meanwhile, ace reporter Lexie Littleton (Renee Zellweger) is shadowing Carter wherever he goes, determined to find some dirt on America’s squeaky-clean star. Before long, both guys are making eyes at our gal, and when Carter signs with a better team, they become rivals on and off the field.

It’s easy to see what Clooney’s going for, but hard to understand the choices he makes. Just when we think he has settled into a witty homage to the great comedies of Hollywood’s golden age, he indulges in self-conscious slapstick. He - and his screenwriters, former Sports Illustrated journalists Duncan Brantley and Rick Reilly - seem to have genuine affection for the good old days of unregulated chaos, but rarely create any rousing action.

As for romance, Zellweger bounces helplessly between two men who don’t suit her, while struggling mightily with a full lineup of rat-a-tat banter.

Frankly, she shouldn’t have to compete with the ghosts of Rosalind Russell and Carole Lombard, as Clooney forces her to do. It’s one thing to evoke the Champagne sophistication of the screwball era; it’s another to try to emulate it. Inevitably, the harder you work at capturing madcap fizz, the flatter things are going to feel.

Diaz hasn’t been involved in a serious relationship since splitting from pop heartthrob Justin Timberlake last year.

She said: “It’s been nice not having a boyfriend for the past year. In fact, it’s the first time I haven’t had one in 10 years and I’m enjoying what I’m getting out of this moment.

“I could be in a relationship if I wanted to be but I haven’t finished doing what I’m doing. But when I’m in a relationship I’m very loyal and committed. I give a lot.”

Cameron - who dated Justin for almost four years - insists she gets lots of romantic offers but believes some men are intimidated by her because she is a “lot of woman”.

The 35-year-old actress added in an interview with GQ magazine: “I do get asked out. It’s fun. But I’m a lot of woman - in a lot of ways.

“And I understand that can be intimidating.”