As if things weren’t going badly enough for the Hilton clan what with Barron’s drunken-driving woes, now it turns out that Paris Hilton’s new flick “The Hottie and the Nottie” may be the biggest box-office bomb of all time!

The movie took in just $9,000 dollars last weekend - an average of $81 per screen, according to Splashnews.com.

“And when you consider each theater probably showed the movie about five times a day, then woah there, horsey. We’re talking about a movie that put only two people in theater seats per showing,” said ActressArchives.com. “That’s super-bomb status, the likes of which haven’t been seen since 2004’s ‘National Lampoon’s Gold Diggers.”

The flick, in which Hilton plays a hottie who refuses to mate until her ugly friend does, was universally panned by critics including the Herald, which called it an “ugly duckling story that is more stomach-churning than playful.”

Paris Hilton, who will head over to Harvard Square today for Harvard University’s annual Harvard Lampoon roast, tells Us Weekly and Parade.com she’s gearing up for a small screen role on Showtime’s sapphic drama “The L Word.” The “Hottie and the Nottie” star says: “Once the strike is over, we are going to start talks, but I am definitly shooting it.” Asked whether the hotel heirhead will get up close and personal with one of the female stars, Hilton, 26, repsonds, “I don’t know yet.” Set your TiVo!

Sports Bowl bettors wanted to know if Eli Manning ran into Paris Hilton last night at Hugh Hefner’s legendary Playboy Super Bowl party.  The Playboy Super Bowl party was at the Wild Horse Pass, which was in earshot of the New York Giants team hotel.  Musician Common hosted the party that was attended by his Girls Next Door stars Holly Madison, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson and over 25 additional Playboy Playmates that wererunning around naked with only Body Paint on their skin. Actor Nick Cannon pulled DJ duties while Kevin Dillon and his Entourage were in the house. Cannon gave shout outs to Alyssa Milano, Gabrielle Union, Tiki Barber, Alyssa Milano, Heroes’ Milo Ventimiglia and The Hills’Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad.  No reports of Eli Manning or Paris Hilton have been reported to Point-Spreads.com at this time.  Sportsbook.com has the New York Giants as +12 point underdogs in Super Bowl 42 later today. This year attendees drove 30 minute in a cab out of Scottsdale to get to the Playboy Super Bowl Party but it did not look like that matter much because guys were paying between 2k to 3k each for a chance to meet Hugh Hefner and his Playboy Playmates.

Paris Hilton may have cashed in on her famous last name, but she won’t be cashing in on the family fortune.

Yesterday, her grandfather Barron Hilton said he was giving his multibillion dollar fortune to a family foundation that supports drought-stricken villages in Africa.

“This means that the work of the foundation will continue and expand for many years to come,” said Conrad H. Hilton Foundation’s chief executive officer Steven M. Hilton yesterday in a written statement.

But it also means that Barron Hilton’s party-loving granddaughter, whose role in a homemade sex video propelled her to international celebrity, won’t profit from the sale of the hotel chain that bears her name.

To some Paris followers, that’s not a surprise.

Jerry Oppenheimer, author of “House of Hilton: From Conrad to Paris: A Drama of Wealth, Power and Privilege,” predicted the move last year, when he said, “(Barron Hilton) was, and is, extremely embarrassed by how the Hilton name has been sullied by Paris.”

Paris Hilton, however, declined to comment for this article.

Conrad Hilton - Paris’ great-grandfather - created the hotel empire in 1919. Although his private life was marked by scandal, in public he was a devout Catholic. He created the foundation in 1944. So far, it has spent $560 million to support the works of Catholic religious sisters and others.

Conrad’s son is Barron. Now 80, he just sold the Hilton hotel chain’s 2,800 hotels, in which he owns about a 5 percent stake, to Blackstone Group LP for $20 billion. Also, he stands to profit from his share of Harrah’s Entertainment, which is being purchased by Apollo Management LP and Texas Pacific Group Inc. for $17.12 billion.

The $1.2 billion that Barron Hilton will earn from both sales will be given to the family foundation. Also, upon his death, Barron Hilton’s $1.1 billion personal fortune will be given to the foundation.

Paris Hilton is one of Conrad Hilton’s many great-grandchildren.

She became a household name in 2003, when her raunchy video, “One Night in Paris,” circulated on the Internet. She’s since made her own money, with a television show, movie appearances, a book and an album.

Earlier this year, she spent three weeks in jail for violating probation in a drunken-driving case. Upon her release, she vowed to change her ways, and announced plans to tour poverty-stricken parts of Africa.

But those plans were canceled and, these days, she’s preparing for her nude scene in the upcoming film, “The Hottie and the Nottie.”