10. “I was trying to put you in the equation. Like, you, in the equation!” - Ronnie, to Sammi

9. “You have to stay fresh to death.” - Pauly D, on his tan/exercise/hair regimen

8. “The friggin’ duck-phone” - Snooki, having difficulty replacing the receiver

7. “Pauly D. was with the grenade….When you go into battle, you need to have some friends with you, so that just in case a grenade gets thrown at you, one of your buddies takes it first.” - The Situation, reflecting poignantly on a less-than-pulchritudinous girl

6. “I would so do your dishes, but I’m not even doing that right now.” - The Grenade, to Pauly, with absolutely no double entendre intended

5. “This little shrimp thing is, like, bopping around.” - Sammi, on Snooki’s dancing

4. “I’m hooking up with my girl. Pauly is hooking up with his girl. And we’re going to have sex, that’s the situation.” - The Situation, ostensibly meaning that he and Pauly were going to have sex with the girls and not with each other.

3. “I’m like, chill out, Freckles McGee.” - The Situation, on a girl who wants to go home instead of hooking up

2. “Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle if it had a pulse.” - Ronnie, on The Situation’s low standards and what is apparently the most frightening Gatorade bottle ever

1. “He’s a really good guy. That’s the kind of guy I need in my life. I think his name is Ron.” - Snooki, on her new friend, Russ